I always knew I needed to live at least three states away from home to maintain a relationship with my mom. When I visit home, I do feel slightly torn about moving so far away, but I have gained exponentially more value in my life by moving away from home. We all have unique stories.
As someone who is very much struggling with how to make my career work for myself, where to go next, and where to come back to, I absolutely loved this conversation!
I’m struck by the similarities in my and Sarah’s stories! I lived in Arlington, VA (very close suburb of DC) for 4 years after grad school so from about ages 22-26. I loved those early adult years but once my husband and I got married (about midway in) we knew we couldn’t start a family there. I watched as my sister did - her husband in politics and she at a pretty cut throat law firm. She had two (of her four) kids while I still lived there. I witnessed the crazy waitlists and stresses about daycare. The rat race that her and my brother in law found themselves in. They’ve since found better balance but I LOVE the community I moved “back” to (central IL, where my husband and I both went to college and about 30 mins from where he grew up), where we were able to more comfortably start our family. Anyway… I have yet to finish the episode but just felt such connection to Sarah’s path back to Paducah that I had to share.
A conversation I've had with a lot of NYC transplants is what, if any, responsibility there is to return from whence we came. There's so much knowledge and perspective that comes from leaving, but there are also the reasons you left in the first place. When there's an element of escaping, you don't necessarily want to return, lest you be trapped again.
Norma, I really hope to meet you sometime. I value your thoughtful commentary in the PP threads, especially your perspective re: having lived in TX (do I have that right?) and now NYC. I just came back from visiting my hometown in rural PA at Thanksgiving and it reminded me of the reasons I left, which were painful. I feel dread building when I prepare to visit and a lot of relief when I return to the community and home I've opted into in Virginia. I think that's probably more of a commentary on family dynamics than anything else, but place and family can be inextricable.
I don't really dread going to Texas for visits, but I always feel a release when I get back to NYC, which I guess means this is really home for me. I also tend to look at Texas from afar and think, "WTF are y'all doing???" And then sometimes I'm afraid that if I had stayed, I would have turned into someone I didn't respect.
I always knew I needed to live at least three states away from home to maintain a relationship with my mom. When I visit home, I do feel slightly torn about moving so far away, but I have gained exponentially more value in my life by moving away from home. We all have unique stories.
As someone who is very much struggling with how to make my career work for myself, where to go next, and where to come back to, I absolutely loved this conversation!
I’m struck by the similarities in my and Sarah’s stories! I lived in Arlington, VA (very close suburb of DC) for 4 years after grad school so from about ages 22-26. I loved those early adult years but once my husband and I got married (about midway in) we knew we couldn’t start a family there. I watched as my sister did - her husband in politics and she at a pretty cut throat law firm. She had two (of her four) kids while I still lived there. I witnessed the crazy waitlists and stresses about daycare. The rat race that her and my brother in law found themselves in. They’ve since found better balance but I LOVE the community I moved “back” to (central IL, where my husband and I both went to college and about 30 mins from where he grew up), where we were able to more comfortably start our family. Anyway… I have yet to finish the episode but just felt such connection to Sarah’s path back to Paducah that I had to share.
A conversation I've had with a lot of NYC transplants is what, if any, responsibility there is to return from whence we came. There's so much knowledge and perspective that comes from leaving, but there are also the reasons you left in the first place. When there's an element of escaping, you don't necessarily want to return, lest you be trapped again.
Norma, I really hope to meet you sometime. I value your thoughtful commentary in the PP threads, especially your perspective re: having lived in TX (do I have that right?) and now NYC. I just came back from visiting my hometown in rural PA at Thanksgiving and it reminded me of the reasons I left, which were painful. I feel dread building when I prepare to visit and a lot of relief when I return to the community and home I've opted into in Virginia. I think that's probably more of a commentary on family dynamics than anything else, but place and family can be inextricable.
You're so kind! Let's meet and be friends!
I don't really dread going to Texas for visits, but I always feel a release when I get back to NYC, which I guess means this is really home for me. I also tend to look at Texas from afar and think, "WTF are y'all doing???" And then sometimes I'm afraid that if I had stayed, I would have turned into someone I didn't respect.